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Friday, November 30, 2012
shit in my yard and get your anus torn open to bleed forever
Driving home, feeling my heart in pain, sorrow, sadness. I contemplate, gin or scotch?
I feel strong. I feel solid. I am alone.
Sailing through the darkness drifting my beast of an auto, old, not perfect, in need of a little work, me, sliding through traffic, not of it. Mainstream can suck my dick. I just might put a condom on first. Mainstream is so waisted on cheese and glam I shudder what holds it up. Like a soufflé will it deflate soon?
In pain I feel. From pain I grow. Change does not happen on sunny easy days. I want change. I want becoming.
I feel relaxed. I feel solid. I am surrounded by animals that are my family. There is love in my home.
Family is what. Did I really choose them and they me? Or was it as random as blood spatters from a bar room brawl?
The moon shines through the thin clouds as a lone Goose honks in the night sky, looking for a safe place.
Safe is an illusion. Cheeky fucking pasty glamorous turd makers trashing our only home. Safe is an illusion of rationalizing and paving over the soil burying one fear for the narcotic of your choice.
Rationalizing glamorous thin people starving from the soul petulant in pathetic attempts at grandeur and importance.
Fuck you shit sucking people you died before you were born. God is dead. Upon this hubris of self important wanting we are the virus killing off our host.
Driving home I feel a pain in my chest. We could be more than we are. Our egos lost sight of the sacred lost sight of the significant lost sight of the reason we are here.
To grow and change and become aware of the creation in all of us the oneness of everything the God in us all. Dogs and cats and Snakes and spiders are all the same. The garden of Eden my ass. Knowledge is nothing with out understanding and as victims we are the same slaves that Jesus looked upon and tried to help.
It is up to each person to choose. Run from or embrace life, pain and joy. With out the night there is no sunrise and sunset and no appreciation for the warmth of Love.
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