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Monday, January 09, 2006


what does it mean to be available?

adj 1: obtainable or accessible and ready for use or service; "kept a fire extinguisher available"; "much information is available through computers"; "available in many colors"; "the list of available candidates is unusually long" [ant: unavailable] 2: not busy; not otherwise committed; "he was not available for comment"; "he was available and willing to accompany her" [syn: uncommitted] 3: convenient for use or disposal; "the house is available after July 1"; "2000 square feet of usable office space" [syn: usable, useable]

1. A mental state that arises spontaneously rather than through conscious effort and is often accompanied by physiological changes; a feeling: the emotions of joy, sorrow, reverence, hate, and love.
2. A state of mental agitation or disturbance: spoke unsteadily in a voice that betrayed his emotion. See Synonyms at feeling.
3. The part of the consciousness that involves feeling; sensibility: “The very essence of literature is the war between emotion and intellect” (Isaac Bashevis Singer).

... ??? ...


Pondering this between other things... (note to self, less coffee, more yoga, concentrate man! concentrate on ONE task.. like the ones the MAKE money!) as I was updating my business site ( btw) and the business blog with some marketing tips and scratching my chin about a T-Shirt idea I had a while ago, and making a note to delete my yahoo personals ad before they charge me again, and why DO all the ladies seem to say men are NOT available?

I have found that when I do emote... women run. I feel, I am man, yet it SEEMS like women do not really want that. They want what they know, football chauvinists who belch and expect dinner cooked by 6pm.

When I have put myself out there, I get the sideways looks that are either 'is he gay?' or 'can't be real, must be issues, will run away now' ... this is so disheartening. People get all catagorical an are in such a hurry for the next thing that they look for the summary versions and sysnopsis...

Try this, take and article or a couple page item that you know well, copy the text, paste it into microsoft word, go to tools and summary and you can have the word program make an automatic summary... you can run it a couple different ways or 'amount' of extraction..

what you get is like the 50 monkey game, remember? sitting in a circle, one person reads a card to the person to the left, and they tell the next person and around it goes, then you all find out what the last one hears... and it is not even close to the original... get it? SUMMARIES DONT WORK.. you will loose in the translation the ESSENCE of the truth about what ever it is.

If you find someone who is 'interesting' you HAVE to give it some time to flesh out.. um maybe not a good word, to sift out perhaps?

So to be available.... a person has to have the willingness to look you in the eye and say, 'i want to know more, let's do this again' and in doing so, try different things and situations that will allow different good and bad aspects of your personality to reveal them selves with genuine authenticity.

no games
no viels

taking the risks up front saves the pain later when you do start farting in front of each other and other social faus pax things that you try to only do in private.. you know the revealing things. EVERYONE gets bad breath, gets cranky, gets scared, gets happy, gets sad, puts on two non matching socks now and again...

to be available is to be willing to make the time to offer ones self to be real infront of some person whom there is a little resonance with and a slight potential to BECOME a cool team.

cause no one wants to be a team of one... works for worms but .. really now.

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